34ish Weeks

Last week, my belly measured in at 36 centimeters. Michael had me nearly convinced that I was going to be birthing a 12 pound giantess, but the midwife assured us that Baby Ev is not anywhere near that and will probably be closer to a nice, averagish 8 pounds. Whether or not this is true, it gives me hope and that's all I need. I also had not gained any weight last week, which I was secretly pleased by. I have taken to walking again now that it's not 100 degrees outside, so I attribute my lack of weight gain to this.

At Bradley Birth Class on Friday, a couple came in and took some pictures of all of us. In true Sarah fashion, I totally forgot it was happening and it was literally the one time Michael and I came to class without making any attempts at looking nice. We still came out looking pretty good I guess.

The baby room is not done yet and everything is still in my dining room. And that's all I have to say about that. I have been making some super fun and adorable wall art for the room though, which I am looking forward to hanging up one of these days.

I recently signed up to get a box of fun baby things from Citrus Lane every month. I'm kind of super excited about it, it's $20 a month for random surprise fun things. So it's almost like getting presents in the mail every month. I love presents! If you want to get one too and you click this link, you get $10 off. Don't say I never did anything for you.

I have officially reached the "I am super bored of being pregnant" phase. I am working on a looooong post about why I think it's perfectly acceptable that I'm not all in love with being pregnant. But that post is still in the works as I have a lot to say on the matter. Anyways, you should not take my 'complaining' below as anything other than a moderate attempt at humor. I am happy to be having a baby, but you have to recognize! that growing one just ain't easy (during the last portion of that sentence, I imagine myself as Beyonce, shaking my finger and getting all Diva on you). It's both mentally and physically exhausting and as these last few weeks close in...well, I just hope they go by faster!

Things Unpregnant People Take For Granted

1. Taking the stairs two steps at a time. Or, taking them in a relatively quick fashion at all.
I have been relegated to: slowllllly...one....by.....one...almost...there....can't....breathe....one....more....
And I still have a hard time making myself take the elevator. It's so embarassing to admit to the world that you are incapable of walking up stairs.

2. Walking quickly.
I remember when I could walk with my head held high and my back straight and take long, lean, gazelle person strides down the hallways in my office building. Now, I mainly just focus on not waddling.

3. Sleeping through the night.
I get up to pee, at minimum, three times throughout the night. Also, my hips hurt, my belly hurts, why is there a dog and a cat and 4 king size pillows and a snoring husband all here at the same time?, I have to pee again!, am I hungry?, and now the baby has hiccups.

4. Silently bending over/sitting up/sitting down/rolling over/picking up the tv remote/putting on shoes/etc.
I make a lot of old lady grunting and groaning noises these days.

5. Wearing heels.
I made it until about 7.5 months in heels. And then, I just sort of stopped. Not on purpose really, just one day I realized I hadn't worn them all week and had no intention of doing so. It's not so much that I can't walk in them, but it is so much that just thinking about putting them on makes me feel exhausted.

6. Having skinny summer 2012 arms
Yesterday I discovered that my triceps are flabby. I'm horrified and have no words, just a lone tear.

7. Staying awake past 10:30
Well wouldn't that be fun and wouldn't everyone want to be my friend!

8. Being in pictures
This one sounds dumb but that's not my intention. I've always delighted in having my picture taken, and have never had any real body image issues. These days, however, I find I would prefer to just stay out of the way of the camera. I don't feel super bad about myself or anything. I'm pregnant for gosh sakes, I can be plump if I want. I just don't see any real posterity in photo-documenting my rotund self anymore than necessary.

9. Lying on my stomach
You certainly can't get your back tan when you have a baby growing out of your frontside. And you can't get a proper massage, and can't sleep on your belly, and can't roll over on frontways, you have to roll over backwards. It's mostly a travesty.

10. Breathing
I would love to be able to sit on the couch and just, you know, breathe.  Or move some things around in the junk craft room without having to stop and catch my breath. Or walk up the hill in our neighborhood without having to slo-mo my way to the top. Or be in a meeting and not wonder if everyone is noticing how hard it is for me to talk quickly and breathe at the same time.

11. Wear more than the same 7 articles of clothing
I can't bring myself to buy more things, it's such a waste of my precious dollar bills. And then I look on pinterest and see all these fun fall outfits and want to save my money for them but then I wonder if I will even be able to wear those things because the baby weight won't lose itself overnight and maybe I should just buy a bunch of bags to wear.