32ish Weeks

Howdy! Ermahgerd I have so many things to write about that instead of doing it and crossing "blog" off my to-do list, I just haven't written about anything. So this is going to be a realllllly long post. To start off, I have recently discovered something new to enjoy eating. Cottage cheese and watermelon. Two favorite things combined into one thing equals a very happy pregnant lady. Also, at my last appointment my belly was 33.5 centimeters and Baby Ev is in prime birthing position with her head down and back to the world. So let's all hope she stays that way.

Last week, I was getting a coffee at the coffee shop at work and I was all, you know, looking forward to the coffee. I have one coffee a day, which is really more milk than coffee, and I pretty much never finish more than half of it. Not because I am all nervous nelly about drinking caffeine, just because in my life, that's how wasteful of coffee I am. So I'm standing there filling a SMALL CUP with mostly-milk-and-some-coffee and this lady that I know is also here getting her own morning pick me up. And she turns to me and says "oh. you're drinking coffee?" And since I'm such a polite person I smile and nod and say yes and casually walk away. (I am not a polite person on the inside and so immediately thought of a lot of insults and bad words.) This was a shocking moment for me because it was the first time someone vocally judged me for my own pregnant decisions. I'm sure that people judged me the one time I ate sushi in public with Ariel, and I'm sure people judged me when I had a glass of wine at Matt & Kristin's wedding, and I'm sure people judge me when they see me order a frappucino at Wawa. But they all kept their thoughts to themselves, and I go on my merry way knowing that the decisions I have made regarding my pregnancy all come from extensive reading and deliberation. So, poo on you lady who judges me out loud! Julia recommends the next time someone says this to me I respond with "You know, I don't usually have coffee, but I just had to have one today because I am sooooo hungover". HA.

We have had a busy couple weeks, again. I know, you're so surprised. We went to the beach in New Jersey one weekend and we went to the beach in Connecticut another weekend. Our weekend in Jersey was spent with some of Michael's family and it was lovely, despite my inability to sleep at night (twin sized beds are made for TINY people, and also, I can no longer sleep without a ceiling fan). Everyone got a good laugh out of my asthmatic-belly-button video (don't worry, you can too, it's just below) and Maggie, my 6 year old niece, drew with markers all over my belly. Maggie also decided that braiding my hair is her new favorite thing and spent several hours over the course of the weekend doing so. Who am I to stop a child from doing something that gives them so much joy?

Here's the video. While watching, please imagine that there is a lot of asthmatic wheezing taking place. It makes it that much funner, I promise.

Then, we spent this past weekend in Connecticut for our dear friends (Ariel and Davis) wedding. Michael and I were Best Man/Matron of Honor (matron is such a horrid word) and we gave speeches that brought both laughter and tears. No big deal. In the end, I was pretty glad I wasn't anymore pregnant than I was because the last couple hours of the evening were a little tough. If I was a few more weeks closer to this baby popping out I don't think I could have made it as long as I did. But, it was a lovely wedding, which I knew it would be since Ariel has such great taste, and I greatly enjoyed the cake AND the ice cream truck. And of course, Julia and I made sure the photographer knew how much we loved a good pose-for-the-camera. Ariel had hired a wedding planner for the day and she was very pregnant and I felt SO BAD for her. Fortunately for her she had brought along her husband and had a chair to sit in but, yikes! In my head I was glad I decided to forego taking up event planning once I found out I was expecting. I can't imagine waddling around and having to help set up and take down someone else's wedding. Ugh. It makes my back hurt just talking about it.

Anyways, another delightful part of the weekend was spending a mini holiday with Paolo and Julia. We usually go away at least once together every summer but since I am growing a baby and am super boring now, we haven't done a lot together lately. So we got to take a road trip (in Michael's truck, which is basically a bed on wheels) and share a hotel room and eat food together (we do this really well) and Julia and I went to bed at reasonable times while Paolo and Michael stayed up until ungodly hours of the morning. I showed them how a pregnant lady gets out of bed, which Paolo found amusing as I knew he would. We also got breakfast at a place that boasted their original square donuts and we were concerned that our waitress was a vampire. We did get some square donuts to-go, and we consumed them with gusto on our drive home. Or at least, I consumed mine with gusto. Julia has threatened that the name of her facebook photo album from this weekend will be titled something like "Watching A Pregnant Lady Eat". Ugh.

There are some hilarious things that have happened to me lately. By hilarious, I also mean embarrassing. Really, embarrassing/hilarious situations happen to me all the time, and if I didn't laugh and move on I would probably just have to sit under a rock and cry all the time because of what a tragedy my life is. Anyways. Being pregnant has seemed to make my daily life even more embarrassing/hilarious because I am neither spry nor thin so everything is more difficult and thereby, funnier.

So, we are at the shore and I'm in my bikini. I'm in my bikini because I can't live without a tan stomach and also everyone tells me I am an adorable pregnant lady and also I have no shame and ALSO I am not even 30 yet so I will wear a two piece bathing suit until I am good and ready to retire it. I might also mention that every other pregnant lady in the world besides me seems to completely disagree as there are zero maternity bikinis to be found and so I had to buy XL sizes from JC Penney. I digress. So Michael and I are reading on the beach (yes, Michael was reading) and I was all "I'm so hot, let's get in the water". So I start to go in but apparently there are rules on the beach and you can only go in past your knees-ish if you are in front of the lifeguard. Sorry, there weren't all these rules when I was swimming in lakes in Vermont. So we have to walk all the way down (it wasn't really that far, I have a tendency to exaggerate) to where, literally (there I go again), all of Ocean City New Jersey is swimming in front of a lone lifeguard.

So here I come, the 8 month pregnant lady, gracefully wading (waddling) into the water. Michael's all "oh wah it's cold" so I have to walk in by myself. As I walk in, I realize how many people there really are and it's just a little overwhelming and not fun, so instead of going all the way in, I reach down to splash some water on my arms. And then, I heard this sound: *POP*. That is the sound of the back of my $5 clearance rack JC Penney bathing suit top snapping into two pieces. In front of, literally, all of Ocean City New Jersey. Fortunately, I have the reflexes of a mountain goat and so I flung my arms and hands around myself and got the hell out of there with, I believe, most of my dignity and minimal (I prefer to imagine zero) people seeing my pregnant boobs. Those who did see, however, I'm sure went back home and howled to their friends about how the pregnant lady flashed, literally, all of Ocean City New Jersey. I mean, I know I would. I myself went back to my chair and Michael tied my top together and we laughed and I told everyone about it because you can't keep a hilarious story like that to yourself. Later that day Maggie comes up to me and goes "So, Aunt Sarah, how'd your boobs pop out?"